( the bundle of papers that seemed to make up a journal, a series of entries that Matt stops reading after the first because it makes his blood run cold, because it isn't his anyway.
wherever he finds Hannah, he has the papers in one hand, knuckles tight around them and jawline tighter. )
Yes? [ Hannah looks over as he enters, smiling, almost always happy to see Matt. Why shouldn't she be? They'd made up, had gotten over... the prank and all that, and they'd both been quick to admit that they're been wrong.
( well, Han, he's about to ruin your day. Matt swallows, but holds out the papers. )
Uh, I found this. It's yours.
( he could have just burned it. pretended he never saw it, but-
well, that would be a disservice to everything they're working to repair, wouldn't it? he's not going to make the same mistakes, not going to take their friendship for granted and go for the easy option. )
[ Hannah peers at him curiously, and for a wild moment, she's afraid he's about to hand her her diary - wouldn't that be embarrassing? But, it isn't her diary. It's a series of papers, old-looking and dirty, with scrawled words in (she knows, immediately) her own handwriting.
She swallows, filling gradually with a deep and intense dread.
My little sister is dead. The fall killed her... I watched the color drain from her face. My leg is broken. I'm all alone, stuck here with Beth's body. Someone will come soon.
After the first page, the second her eyes pass over the last word, she drops the papers as if burned by them. Immediately, though, before he can pick them up, she drops to her knees and scrambles to gather them again, holding them tight, tight to her chest, blocking their words from view. ]
Where - Where did you get this? [ She asks on a whisper, shaky and terrified. Except, that isn't the real question. ] I... don't remember writing this. I mean, I never did write it, but... it's my handwriting.
[ Hannah meets his eyes, silently begging him to explain, to help her understand. To will him to forget the awful thing they'd both just read.
Never mind the rest of it... ]
it is there's nothing heartbreaking about UD at all :3
( he can guess how it happened. why those words exist (those ones, anyway) and what they mean.
Hannah had been alive after they went missing. the thought settles cold at the base of his neck, down his spine, a horrible weight that won't remove itself from him. )
I found it in one of the stores. ( tucked away inside the pocket of a jacket he tried on.
Matt pinches the bridge of his nose, exhales. it would have been easier to rip it up, call it a joke or something. pretend the gods were just fucking with them. but- )
I think it's... what happened after... ( they were epic assholes to you. )
I - [ Her mouth feels dry, super dry, and the words dry up there, too. She can only stare in horror back at Matt, knowing this isn't at all his fault, filled to the brim with fear and grief that she's been trying so hard to keep down. ]
I... don't remember any of this. [ She whispers, weakly lifting the book. ] Chris and Emily told me, but... the last thing that happened is Beth and I slipped off a cliff, and...
[ And Beth died. Jesus, why did things have to happen like that? ]
( after they ran off, as far as he knows. so much has happened, so much will happen, if what the others say is right (and he thinks it is, doesn't believe they would make everything up like that, not after-
not after this.)
he manages to stay standing, although the temptation to sink against the nearest surface beats heavy in them. christ, how did no one find her- )
We didn't know- ( any of it. that Hannah was still alive.
how did no one find them.
fuck, he doesn't have the words for this, just a myriad of emotions clouding through him, frustration and anger and guilt all rolled into one. )
he doesn't understand how it was impossible to find them. how all the people and power the Washingtons could have put into this somehow didn't work. )
Maybe-
Well, maybe you shouldn't. ( he hasn't read any further than entry one, doesn't want to either, but Matt's been privy to a lot of information about the night on the mountain he shouldn't be.
should they really have this knowledge of the future? doesn't that, like, mess shit up? )
I think you've dealt with enough, Han. ( and there's also that. he just needed to give it to her, rather than have a stranger pick it up, rather than have more secrets buried in their lives. )
[ Haven't they all dealt with enough? Her hands tremble as she grips the notebook tightly in her grasp, wanting, in a backwards way, to know what she wrote (writes) and what happened (will happen).
But... ]
Yeah. [ She agrees finally, quietly. ] ... Do you think you could help me build a fire? I don't want to just... toss them out.
( okay, well, if it's up to him. ) Let's go somewhere. ( anywhere they won't be disturbed has to be better than the house, where people come and go, right?
c'mon, Han, he's holding a hand out and everything. )
| action
wherever he finds Hannah, he has the papers in one hand, knuckles tight around them and jawline tighter. )
Hey, uh. Han?
| action
It's good to see him. ]
Everything okay?
this is all fine :')
Uh, I found this. It's yours.
( he could have just burned it. pretended he never saw it, but-
well, that would be a disservice to everything they're working to repair, wouldn't it? he's not going to make the same mistakes, not going to take their friendship for granted and go for the easy option. )
I only, um, read the first page.
no it is Not
She swallows, filling gradually with a deep and intense dread.
My little sister is dead. The fall killed her... I watched the color drain from her face. My leg is broken. I'm all alone, stuck here with Beth's body. Someone will come soon.
After the first page, the second her eyes pass over the last word, she drops the papers as if burned by them. Immediately, though, before he can pick them up, she drops to her knees and scrambles to gather them again, holding them tight, tight to her chest, blocking their words from view. ]
Where - Where did you get this? [ She asks on a whisper, shaky and terrified. Except, that isn't the real question. ] I... don't remember writing this. I mean, I never did write it, but... it's my handwriting.
[ Hannah meets his eyes, silently begging him to explain, to help her understand. To will him to forget the awful thing they'd both just read.
Never mind the rest of it... ]
it is there's nothing heartbreaking about UD at all :3
Hannah had been alive after they went missing. the thought settles cold at the base of his neck, down his spine, a horrible weight that won't remove itself from him. )
I found it in one of the stores. ( tucked away inside the pocket of a jacket he tried on.
Matt pinches the bridge of his nose, exhales. it would have been easier to rip it up, call it a joke or something. pretend the gods were just fucking with them. but- )
I think it's... what happened after... ( they were epic assholes to you. )
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Hannah takes a step back, shaking. ]
I - [ Her mouth feels dry, super dry, and the words dry up there, too. She can only stare in horror back at Matt, knowing this isn't at all his fault, filled to the brim with fear and grief that she's been trying so hard to keep down. ]
I... don't remember any of this. [ She whispers, weakly lifting the book. ] Chris and Emily told me, but... the last thing that happened is Beth and I slipped off a cliff, and...
[ And Beth died. Jesus, why did things have to happen like that? ]
no subject
not after this.)
he manages to stay standing, although the temptation to sink against the nearest surface beats heavy in them. christ, how did no one find her- )
We didn't know- ( any of it. that Hannah was still alive.
how did no one find them.
fuck, he doesn't have the words for this, just a myriad of emotions clouding through him, frustration and anger and guilt all rolled into one. )
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[ Being saved from the literal edge wasn't in the cards for either twin. ]
Shit. [ She breathes, eyes brightening with tears. ] I don't even want to read the rest, to know... w-what happened down there.
[ From her own perspective, even. Hannah can only imagine, knowing herself, what she might have said. ]
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he doesn't understand how it was impossible to find them. how all the people and power the Washingtons could have put into this somehow didn't work. )
Maybe-
Well, maybe you shouldn't. ( he hasn't read any further than entry one, doesn't want to either, but Matt's been privy to a lot of information about the night on the mountain he shouldn't be.
should they really have this knowledge of the future? doesn't that, like, mess shit up? )
I think you've dealt with enough, Han. ( and there's also that. he just needed to give it to her, rather than have a stranger pick it up, rather than have more secrets buried in their lives. )
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But... ]
Yeah. [ She agrees finally, quietly. ] ... Do you think you could help me build a fire? I don't want to just... toss them out.
[ Where anyone could read them. ]
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he'll choose to keep believing that, at least. trying to stay upright, strong. it's going to be alright. they can burn it. )
Sure. ( hm. ) You want to do it here, or...? ( should they find a place outside of the house? )
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[ As long as nobody reads this thing ever again. ]
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c'mon, Han, he's holding a hand out and everything. )
wrap?
Thanks, Matt. For, um... all this. And for not reading it.
[ It could've been way worse, particularly considering that she has no idea what it says. ]